Monday, July 21, 2008
Going to a doctor's appointment today. Just a check up. I am 2 years and 92 days away from turning 50. I have issues. I hate the way my body feels and has felt for a few years now. I know the alternative is death and I should be content that I am as healthy as I am. But I want more, I want to grow old gracefully, isn't that what is said. I want to not pee on myself when I cough, I want to not burst out crying at hallmark commericals. Hubby ask me last week when the period thing was going to be over with. Oh, if he only knew. Of course my mind is blank right now, but when I ask for the appointment 3 weeks ago, I was ready to scream. Now how do I tell this man doctor that I have fatigue, it takes all I can do to get out of bed some mornings. I have moles ( like my grandmother ) that has started to creep up my neck onto my face, or are they age spots. I still like nothing more than to sit outside in the hot sun and I am paying for it now. My knees ache, holding up this butt is too much on them. I constantly think about my weight, and with that thought not fresh out of my head grab a bag of chips. My name is Jerri and I am a emotional eater. There is never a dull moment in our house. I can't handle another menopausal headache. I have been going to a surgeon for almost a year now for a leaking breast. A milk gland that is stopped up, but I put my gown on and with in 10minutes, it is wet. We are just going to watch it. My hips hurt, I have old woman gas, I don't sleep good, I toss all night and I am tired.