Monday, December 15, 2014

Today I am here is say, YOU DON"T KNOW ME-
 if you think I don't cry,
 If you think I am a happy all the time,
if you think I am a confident person,
if you are not aware that I try to solve my problems with food,
if you think I have it all together.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Cute idea, I think I will make this

Thursday, November 27, 2014

100 things

1. I am Thankful for the love my God shows me
2. I am Thankful for spending another Thanksgiving with my parents
3. I am Thankful for my grumpy Gus, Sick Hubby - Terry
4. I am thankful he only has a cold
5. I am Thankful for time spent with my brothers and sister
6. I am Thankful my sister is a loving caregiver to our parents. I know they are taken care of
7.I am Thankful for the food on our table today and everyday
8. I am Thankful for my loving friends
9. I am Thankful for our church family
10. I am Thankful for the church- the building where we gather to worship
11. I am Thankful for our oldest grandson, and the man he has become
12. I am Thankful for our middle grandson, the peacemaker
13. I am Thankful for our youngest grandson, the quite one
14. I am Thankful for being able to help raise these three boys
15. I am so Thankful for the XOXOX they give their nanny
16. I am so Thankful for our health
17. I am Thankful we have jobs to support our family
18. I am Thankful for the shop and the friendships I have because of it
19. I am Thankful for the relationship I now have with our daughter.
20. I am Thankful for our home
21. I am Thankful for our lives, I wouldn't change it
22. I am Thankful for a God fearing husband
23. I am Thankful for the love we share
24. I am Thankful for quite time
25. I am Thankful  for bath-reading a book time
26. I am Thankful for Guidepost
27. I am Thankful for flowers- Gerber daisy's
28. I am Thankful for my love of antiques
29. I am Thankful for our trip to Yellow Stone this year
30. I am Thankful for beautiful snow
31. I am Thankful for the sun
32. I am Thankful for the breeze on a hot day
33. I am Thankful for being able to go to the beach and feel the sand underfoot
34. I am Thankful  how fresh cut grass smells
35. I am Thankful how a newly plowed field smells
36. I am thankful for Facebook and keeping up with family
37. I am Thankful for my electric blanket on nights like tonight
38. I am Thankful for my sister in laws
39. I am Thankful that Terry loves his mother
40. I am Thankful for lost friendships-that I pray will reunite
41. I am Thankful for my unique creativity
42. I am Thankful for the Bible
43. I am Thankful I enjoy reading
44. I am Thankful for steak
45. I am Thankful for WW
46. I am Thankful for our 3 new family members this year
47. I am Thankful for people that has come and gone this year
48. I am Thankful for the friendship I had with Barbara C. RIP
49. I am Thankful for Crushed ice
50. I am Thankful I don't go Black Friday Shopping
51. I am Thankful Malik found a girl like Tiffany
52. I am Thankful for chocolate
53. I am Thankful for Grace
54. I am Thankful for warm socks
55. I am thankful for the journey
56. I am Thankful for a new jar of buttons from a friend
57. I am Thankful for my car
58. I am Thankful for 30 lbs I have lost
59. I am thankful for understanding
60. I am Thankful for the color red
61. I am Thankful for singing
62. I am Thankful for the church music on Sunday night
63. I am Thankful for pop corn
64. I am Thankful for water to drink
65. I am Thankful for God's nature
66. I am Thankful for Santa
67. I am Thankful for peace in our family
68. I am Thankful that Terry is a handy man
69. I am Thankful for our kitchen dancing
70. I am Thankful for Hallmark Christmas movies
71. I am Thankful I live in Alabama
72. I am Thankful for Turkey
73. I am Thankful my knee is better
74. I am Thankful for Extra
75. I am thankful for the rain
76. I am Thankful for Mexican food
77. I am Thankful for fall weather after a hot summer
78. I am thankful for my friends at DON
79. I am Thankful to be able to give back
80. I am Thankful for blue sky
81. I am Thankful for Sharon's friendship
82. I am Thankful for Barbee's Friendship
83. I am Thankful for our monthly luncheon
84. I am thankful for our freedom
85. I am Thankful for our flag and what it represents
86. I am Thankful for soldiers
87. I am Thankful for Barbee's improved health
88. I am thankful for Tonya's friendship
89. I am Thankful for Jessica's friend
90. I am Thankful for sights out my window, like the deer
91. I am thankful for truth
92. I am thankful he respects me and I respect him
93. I am thankful for shrimp
94. I am thankful for tripping
95 I am thankful for my rice bag
96. I am thankful for energy- mine
97. I am thankful for summer harvest
98. I am thankful Terry wakes up on his own each morning, and lets me sleep
99. I am thankful for my Alaska shows and seeing it in person
100. I am thankful for being able to cook for my family for Thanksgiving

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

This blog has become my voice. The voice I will never say out loud. I never could say this stuff out loud. It makes me feel better to write it down, and let it go. I don't want anyone to read it, I would be soooo a shame. Being a women is hard, being a woman that is 53 is hard. I love the Lord and know he loves me but sometime I just need to vent. If you run across this blog and think I am a un- happy person. I am very happy. I am human and a woman. It all works out in the end. Life is good but sometimes I just need to vent.

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Can you seriously tell me you are my friend and do not know I have been going to WW for the last 8 weeks. Can you not look at me and see I have been losing weight. My attitude has been so much better and I am happier. Do you mean to tell me that you have not noticed. What kind of friend are you? Do not bring me donuts. Do not sabotage me. I will not let you bring me down. 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

3 Sunday's in a row

Today I was in a meeting till after 4
I called home
I am on my way
walked in....
I cooked
put a load on clothes in
He sat in the same place the whole time.
When he calls
I am on my way
I start cooking dinner
Why didn't he?
3 Sunday's in a row
I am upset
Not liking Sunday's anymore.
I don't like feeling like this

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mothers Day!

Sometimes men get to relaxed in their marriage.
Mine has.
No Happy Mother's Day
No gift
No thank you for all you do
Dear Daughter
got a text
Happy Mother's Day
Well. I need more.
I need to be appreciated
Show me, tell me
on this day anyway

Sunday, May 04, 2014

Sometimes......I could scream

Life is hard......
Marriage is hard......
Children is hard.......
Being a 50+ woman is down right impossible
to have a normal life
to keep from driving  your husband crazy
to understanding your adult daughter.
I need a vacation
from it all.
But it would still be here when I get home.
So cry cry cry and then put on my big girl panties and deal with it all.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Weekend mindset

Saturday- ran to B'ham
practice at 9am
back to shop
went and looked at fridge
for DD, used.
Hauled it to house,
She has plans, needs to go
.when will u be finished dad
Ungrateful Child.
I am done

It was a wonderful Sunday-
I am now Badoura in Daughters of the Nile
Temple 163
In 4 years I will be Queen.
I was on a high.
and then........
the REAL world called.
Fridge not working
Not cooling.
Hub and DD wants me to call and ask if we can return.
Never again.
I am done.
Give me a day.

Monday was  a relaxing day.
Slow steady rain, stay home kinda day.
Till the hubby came in and started to pay
taxes for the shop and HE forgot to pay
last month. If I was paying him, to do this.
I would have screamed and fired him.
This will cost me 150.00 extra dollars.
This weekend did not go my way.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Sad this Morning

There has been another senseless  act of abuse in the news.
 Students have been stabbed in Pa.
I pray for the hurt and their families.
Why does it have to go this far.
I Pray for you.
I hope you tried to find someone that would listen.
I pray you get the help you need.
I wish this didn't happen at all.
I wish you had gotten some help you needed before you had to resort to going to school with a knife.
I pray for our students and their well being.
Parents remember our children and grandchildren watch how we act with difficult situations.
They look up to us and love us and want to be like us.

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Loving my body

I just read a article about loving your body.
My body is in a Constance battle with my mind.
Skinny people, no let me say instead people that
is not overweight, it is easier to love your body.
I use to love or like the way my freshly painted toes
look in the summer. Now I have a toe fungus.
Took the meds, still look bad.
So there is not one area I like must less love.
Lets start at the top and work my way down.
Hair, too thick, no curl, straight as can be.
Ears stick out-Doty Ears
Eyes- makes me mad I can't see as well as when younger
Nose-too big- hard to breath
Teeth-better now, got false ones on top a few years ago.
Neck- have the fat neck- flappy flappy like paw paw Wells had
Shoulders- none Purse falls of mine
Arms- wings
Lower arms- farmers tan
Breast- sag- hurt-pimples
waist-contains the first roll of many
belly- sagging-hairy-big
butt- biggest of all-more pimples
Back- hurt all the time
thighs- huge
knees-hurt-can't bend, get on my knees to look under anything.
area between my knee and foot. leg cramps-have had 3 shots to
feel better-some days okay-some hurts all day
feet-see above.
There it is in a nut shell........

Thursday, April 03, 2014

So I had a dream this morning, About "J". Her whole family came by in a bus to tell us Merry Christmas. They opened the back door of the bus and Kids and Adults stood in a long line out the back of the bus on to a hill to wish us Merry Christmas. How sweet, how unexpected.  I miss what we use to have, it changed along time ago. Life changes friendships, and I don't like it. I have always said I don't like change, and this time it took my bestie.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Emotional few weeks for me.
Still can't believe I will not be able to pick up the
phone and call Barbara,
Mom's 75th Birthday party a success, think we almost
gave her a heart attack.
Back is hurting, done too much.
Seem pictures of mother and thought, she is beautiful even though
she has it all behind her.
 I can get around and maybe one day I
will lose all this weight.
But I am hurting and want to get this weight off.
Terry and I planning a road trip for August.
Can I walk to the Grand cannon, can I hold up
to see the sights.
Will I hold him back.
Crying as I type this.....
Hurting as I type this.....
Lord give me the will power to lose 50 lbs.
Weight has ruled my life too long!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Busy Week....
Need to be prepared.
Busy Friday and Saturday.....
Hope she is happy....
75 years....

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Saying Goodbye was hard
Listening to her son cry at her funeral was hard
Watching the blank look on her hubby's face was hard
And him saying, I buried her in her wedding dress was hard
Watching her grandsons fill her grave was hard
Thinking I need to tell her that...
is hard
knowing I will have to wait till I see her again is harder

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The call....

Today when I got out of the shower,
 I looked at my phone.
 Barbara called.
 there was a message.....
I thought...
she wants me to come by before work.
It was her hubs....
he said.
I lost my sweetie this morning.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Wake Up Call

I wake up and fell the weight and I dread the pain I will feel as I put my feet on the floor.
I dream a lot and I am not fat.
I think, I have been in this "FAT FUNK" for over 2 years.
I can't seem to get my head in the right place.
I don't know why my hubby loves me, puts up with me.
I love him and I know he has to love me to still be here.
I lay in bed and tell myself, Today is the day.
The weight loss starts today.
Will it?

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Life's Struggles

Since I haven't written in quite awhile, I don't blame anyone for not reading my blog. I have been a bad bad blogger.
Today I decided to write.....
And the one thing that is always on my mind is my struggle with my weight.
This is thoughts that I deal with each day...
Recently  I have developed a leg pain
 I have had 2 shots.
 Yes! Shots!
 My scales still shows 260 to 268
I hurt all the time.
I now take blood pressure meds.
Friends and I talk about our weight and all the aches and pains.
But do we do anything about it....
Dang it Jimmy......I had weight loss surgery.
Why didn't it work?
Don't answer that, know the answer
I pray for will power....
I over think it...
tomorrow is another day!